


We Could Have Had It All

by MayGlenn



Series: May's February Ficlet Challenge 2019 [26]
Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: And Related Euphemisms, Love/Hate, M/M, Pirates, Swordplay, Unrequited Hate, Unresolved Sexual Tension, enemyslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 06:13:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18047060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayGlenn/pseuds/MayGlenn
Summary: “Jinks! Jinksy!” Claudia wailed, kicking the ghost pirate in the chest to put some distance between them (it helped if you went for the dramatic when you were trying to stay alive on the ghost pirate ship) (of course it had been Pete who figured that out) and pointing. “Steve, he went that way!”“I’m on him!” Steve said, and Claudia, had the situation not been quite so dire, might have delivered a ‘That’s what she said’—or at least whatever version of that was acceptable for a gay man who kept getting into amorous entanglements with his enemy—in response.It was kind of funny at this point. Claudia even kind of shipped it.





	We Could Have Had It All

“Yarr, me heartie, ye’ll be walkin’ the plank—”

“Oh my God, seriously?” 

Claudia ducked a wild swing from a cutlass and delivered one of her own, though it swished right through the ghost pirate. Because, of course there was a ghost pirate artifact. 

Which was fine, manageable, briefly awesome—they just had to stay alive until they could locate and bag the pirate hook artifact. Which Marcus Diamond was now running away with.  

“Jinks! Jinksy!” Claudia wailed, kicking the ghost pirate in the chest to put some distance between them (it helped if you went for the dramatic when you were trying to stay alive on the ghost pirate ship) (of course it had been Pete who figured that out) and pointing. “Steve, he went that way!” 

“I’m on him!” Steve said, and Claudia, had the situation not been quite so dire, might have delivered a ‘That’s what she said’—or at least whatever version of that was acceptable for a gay man who kept getting into amorous entanglements with his enemy—in response. 

It was kind of funny at this point. Claudia even kind of shipped it. 

Down below decks, Jinks lunged with his rapier, going on the offensive. Diamond dodged, jumping back a few feet—though his shirt didn’t, and it split rakishly down the front, showing off most of his chest and part of his shoulders. 

Jinks groaned inwardly at how painfully chiseled his muscles were. He wasn’t into this guy! He was a sociopath! He only slept with him for information the Warehouse needed, and only that one time! The rest was just—incidental!

“I’m starting to think we end up like this on purpose,” Diamond said, knocking Jinks’ sword out of the way and then bearing down on him. Their swords clashed and they pressed in against each other, nose to homoerotic tension. “That you’re just as unhappy with the Warehouse as you told me you were.” 

Jinks really wanted to head-butt this guy, and it really probably would have worked with the over-the-top drama of this crazy artifact, but he didn’t trust the fates enough to put his face anywhere near Marcus Diamond’s face. So he hauled back and punched him: even Steve’s left hook was mean, and Marcus didn’t see it coming, so he staggered back. 

“Yeah, I also told you I was into  _ you _ ,” Steve retorted, cattily.

Marcus smiled, licking his lip in a way that was more seductive than it was checking for blood. “And I say the jury’s still out on that one.” 

“Oh, my God, you prick,” Jinks sighed, and fencing recommenced, in between the cannons and rigging and whatever else was down here. “Just let me bag the artifact! You know this whole bay is going to get destroyed by a hurricane if we don’t!” 

“Ah, but there’s my advantage,” Diamond said, slashing the backs of Jinks’ knuckles so he dropped his sword with a loud swear. He dove for it again, but Diamond held his sword point just under Steve’s chin. “You won’t let these people be destroyed, and that’s your weakness. You never can get the job done because you care too much.” 

Steve was panting, in spite of himself weirdly aroused by this sexy psycho who knew how to handle a sword, and no, that was not a euphemism (unless this whole entire thing was). He held out his hands and decided, just, okay, fuck it. “Then, what are we doing here? You going to kill me?” 

Marcus seemed surprised by this, but didn’t lower his sword. 

“I’m not falling for that again,” he said, warningly. 

(Which meant he was  _ definitely  _ falling for it again.) 

“What do you want me to do, Diamond? We’re not on the same side,” Steve said, lowering his hands a little more. Diamond dug the sword point into his throat, pushing Jink’s head back. “Just—okay, you win. Take the artifact back to—your boss, wherever. Just bag it and don’t hurt anyone with it.” 

“You and I both know I can’t do that,” Diamond replied, lowering the sword a fraction. 

Which gave Jinks enough time to draw the one-shot pistol from its holster and fire. 

“Son of a bitch!” Marcus screamed, and though it was mostly smoke and grapeshot, he backed off enough that Jinks could pick up his dropped sword and wave it in front of him. “You’re going to pay for that!” 

The fighting recommenced, and soon it was Jinks who had Diamond pressed against the hull, bent nearly backwards over a cannon, as they grunted and strained, sword against sword—

God, this was still sounding like a porno in his head. 

“I knew you were into me,” Diamond laughed, in between gasps of effort. 

“I think it hurts me more than it hurts you,” Jinks answered, seeing the pirate hook glinting in Diamond’s belt loop. 

_ Okay, fine, universe, fine, _ Jinks thought, and kissed him. 

Diamond was actually startled by the kiss, though not enough to not punch him when he pulled away. 

But by then Steve had the pirate hook in his possession, and had dropped it into a bag before Diamond could even shout. 

The ghost pirates swirling around them stopped, suddenly, and they heard Pete, Myka, and Claudia above deck. Jinks backed away with the artifact. “Don’t do this, Marcus. It’s over.”

“Save the ‘we could have had it all’ speech for next time. Someday you’ll  _ need  _ me,” Marcus said, and turned and fled. 

At least he shouldered past Pete hard enough to knock him flat. Served Pete right for wearing an  _ eyepatch _ , like a dumbass. 

“Jinksy!” Claudia cried, throwing herself at him and hugging him. “You’re alright!” 

“Hey, Jinks, your boyfriend just left,” Pete said, rubbing his shoulder as he came down into the hold. Part of Steve wished Marcus had hit him harder. 

“You got the artifact!” Myka praised. “I’ll be the first to put it to a vote, all those in favor of retiring Pete...”

“Aye!” 

“Aye!” 

“ _ Okay _ , can we not say ‘aye,’ anymore, after the week we’ve had?” Pete said, suddenly taking off the eyepatch. “I’m tired of playing pirate.”

**Author's Note:**

> Twenty-sixth in the February Ficlet Challenge of 2019. The prompt was "Pirates."


End file.
